Friday, June 29, 2012

Identifying the 4 Parenting Styles

Do you know what kind of parent you are? This is an important question to answer because as a parent your end goal is to raise a happy, healthy, successful child and to reach that goal you need to be the best parent you can be.

The four main parenting styles are determined by the level of warmth and control that parents exert over their child. These two key factors then create four categories of parenting styles: indulgent, authoritarian, authoritative, and uninvolved. Each of these parenting styles reflects different natural patterns of parental values, practices, and behaviors and a distinct balance of response and demand.

Parenting

* Indulgent parents are more responsive than they are demanding. Nontraditional and lenient, they do not require mature behavior, allow much self-regulation, and avoid confrontation. Indulgent parents may be further divided into two types: democratic parents, who, though lenient, are more conscientious, engaged, and committed to the child, and nondirective or permissive parents.

Identifying the 4 Parenting Styles

* Authoritarian parents are highly demanding and directive, but not responsive. They do not explain orders but expect total obedience. These parents provide well-ordered and structured environments with clearly stated rules. Authoritarian parents can be divided into two types: those who are not intrusive or autocratic in their use of power and those who are highly intrusive.

* Authoritative parents are both demanding and responsive. They set clear standards for their child's conduct, but their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive as they want their children to be assertive as well as socially responsible, cooperative, and self-regulated.

* Uninvolved parents are low in both response and demand. In extreme cases, this parenting style might encompass both rejection and neglect.

Parenting styles not only differ in terms of response and demand but also the extent of psychological control they extend over their child. Psychological control is the attempt to intrude into the psychological and emotional development of the child through use of parenting practices such as guilt, shame, and withdrawal of love. One key difference between authoritarian and authoritative parenting is in the dimension of psychological control.

Both authoritarian and authoritative parents place high demands on their children and expect their children to behave appropriately and obey parental rules. Authoritarian parents, however, also expect their children to accept their judgments, values, and goals without question. In contrast, authoritative parents are more open to give and take with their children and offer more explanation. Therefore, although authoritative and authoritarian parents are both high in behavioral control, authoritative parents tend to be low in psychological control, while authoritarian parents tend to be high.

Learning more about your own parenting style can help you become a more effective parent and raise a more successful child.

Identifying the 4 Parenting Styles

You can enjoy more family articles at Parents Learn More [http://parentslearnmore.com] and Official Family [http://officialfamily.us].

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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

The Importance of Effective Communication

No matter how brilliant and invaluable your idea, it is worthless unless you can share it with others. For this reason, effective communication is crucial at every level of an organization. However, the ability to communicate effectively does not come easily to many people, and it is a skill that requires practice.

We begin practicing our communication skills even before we learn to walk. A newborn child communicates by crying, but it slowly learns to mimic its parents' speech. Eventually, the child discovers that certain speech patterns elicit different responses; one of the joys of parenting is trying to decipher the meaning behind certain "words." Does "baaaaaw" mean that the baby wants his ball, his bottle, or his blanket? Slowly, through trial and error, the child learns to manipulate sounds to get what it wants, and as the child develops, this active oral practice leads to more nuanced and fluid conversations. In short, the child learns effective communication.

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To effectively communicate a complex idea, however, requires skills beyond elementary conversation. There are two golden rules to remember and follow.

The Importance of Effective Communication

Golden Rule #1: Organize thoughts in your mind before sharing them with others.

One idea often prompts a torrent of others. In order to share your ideas, you must first shape them coherently. Organization is important, because it creates a pattern for your listener, allowing him or her to grasp the larger picture intuitively. This allows the listener to focus on the details of your message, without struggling to understand how you went from Point A to Point B.

As a thought experiment, imagine that a colleague has asked you for directions to the airport. Write them down. Your directions will probably look something like:

* Drive west half a mile on Aurora.

* Take a left on Madison.

* At the third light, turn right and follow Dexter for 2-3 miles.

* Get on the interstate, heading south.

* Etc.

Now, with a pair of scissors, cut each line of instructions into a small strip of paper. Jumble the strips up and arrange them in a completely random order, then give them to your colleague. Even with mixed-up directions, s/he should have no trouble reaching the airport, right? After all, your directions are complete and accurate. Not a single step is missing.

The problem, of course, is that your directions are also completely unorganized, rendering them useless. Your colleague will find it impossible to focus on your message itself, because he or she will struggle to follow your message's structure (or lack thereof).

Golden Rule #2: Communication is collaborative, not competitive.

Thrusting your idea on others mars the beauty and integrity of conversation. Communication is in some ways like a dance; each partner plays off the other, basing his or her steps on the other person's, while simultaneously maintaining a certain amount of individuality.

Communication is a two-way process involving an exchange of ideas. If you try to make it one-way, you prevent this exchange and will eventually frustrate the other person. You may also frustrate yourself, if you read the other person's lack of verbosity as disinterest in the conversation, rather than an inability to get a word in.

The hallmark of effective communication is the coherent verbal projection of your ideas, so that your listener receives the message that you intend to send. By observing these two rules, you will reduce miscommunication and misunderstandings.

The Importance of Effective Communication

Barbara Stennes, CSP, is president and owner of Resources Unlimited, a consulting firm based in Des Moines, Iowa. She is widely recognized as an expert on team building, customer service, creativity, and innovation. To learn how Barbara can help your organization, please visit Resources Unlimited or de Bono Online.

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Saturday, June 23, 2012

Solar Power - Advantages and Disadvantages

There are many advantages of solar energy. Just consider the advantages of solar energy over that of oil:

· Solar energy is a renewable resource. Although we cannot utilize the power of the sun at night or on stormy, cloudy days, etc., we can count on the sun being there the next day, ready to give us more energy and light. As long as we have the sun, we can have solar energy (and on the day that we no longer have the sun, you can believe that we will no longer have ourselves, either).

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· Oil, on the other hand, is not renewable. Once it is gone, it is gone. Yes, we may find another source to tap, but that source may run out, as well.

Solar Power - Advantages and Disadvantages

· Solar cells are totally silent. They can extract energy from the sun without making a peep. Now imagine the noise that the giant machines used to drill for and pump oil make!

· Solar energy is non-polluting. Of all advantages of solar energy over that of oil, this is, perhaps, the most important. The burning of oil releases carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases and carcinogens into the air.

· Solar cells require very little maintenance (they have no moving parts that will need to be fixed), and they last a long time.

· Although solar panels or solar lights, etc., may be expensive to buy at the onset, you can save money in the long run. After all, you do not have to pay for energy from the sun. On the other hand, all of us are aware of the rising cost of oil.

· Solar powered lights and other solar powered products are also very easy to install. You do not even need to worry about wires.

As you can see, there are many advantages of solar energy. The advantages of solar energy range from benefiting your pocketbook to benefiting the environment. There are actually only a few features of solar energy that can be considered disadvantages.

Here are the disadvantages of solar energy:

· Solar cells/panels, etc. can be very expensive.

· Solar power cannot be created at night.

As you can see the advantages of solar energy create a much longer list that the disadvantages, and the disadvantages are things that can be improved as technology improves.

Solar Power - Advantages and Disadvantages

Anne Clarke writes numerous articles for websites on gardening, parenting, the environment, fashion, and home decor. Her background includes teaching and gardening. For more of her articles on solar power, please visit Solar Home.

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Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Getting Control of 3 Year Old Temper Tantrums - Parenting Advice For Out of Control Child Behavior

Is your 3 year old throwing temper tantrums on a regular basis? Does every night seem like a struggle to get your child to bed at a decent hour, or to stop biting and kicking when told what to do? There are many reasons why a 3 year old will behave much differently than other toddlers, and learning what triggers that behavior is an important step in stopping 3 year old temper tantrums from occurring.

By age three, your child has developed very specific motor and coordination skills. Suddenly the whole world is a giant play ground for them to explore and learn. While the child's brain is working overtime, chances are the parents are struggling to keep up with that energy and enthusiasm level.

Parenting

Furthermore, your child has discovered an increased sense of independence, and will start to draw away from caregivers as they are able to do many tasks on their own. This is a primary driver in children at age 3 who throw temper tantrums. Lets consider two examples.

Getting Control of 3 Year Old Temper Tantrums - Parenting Advice For Out of Control Child Behavior

First, a child at three will want to continue to be independent and do things on their own. Parents, on the other hand, will still want to be actively involved in the teaching and nurturing of the child. This can lead to frustration on the child's part that can build into a temper tantrum very quickly. It is important for parents to realize and understand that a three year old will want, and need, to learn many things on their own so they can figure it out.

Second, most three year olds become actively involved in social settings with other youngsters and even some older children. While this is a good activity, sometimes events out of their control can lead to frustration.

Learning what the hot buttons are for your three year old can eliminate several of the temper tantrums they may have.

Getting Control of 3 Year Old Temper Tantrums - Parenting Advice For Out of Control Child Behavior

There are many other child behavior problems that can be changed and addressed to get your home back to normal quickly.

You can get more information on how to get your child's behavior back under control in 20 days or less by visiting HappyChildBehavior.info.

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Sunday, June 17, 2012

Parenting the 6 to 7 Year Old Child

As your child grows older, they are ready to take on some responsibility for their actions and behaviors. Around six to seven years of age is when parents can begin to hold their child accountable. You have been working up to this point for the past six years, and now it is time to help transition your child into adolescence.

This age group begins to predict outcomes of their actions, whether they are good or bad. Parents may not need to tell a six year old ten times to do the same task, but simply ask them the question, "did they complete it?" As their leader, you have already told them what will happen if they did not complete said task so the child already knows the outcome.

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Some children may like to test the waters a bit. This age really needs consistency and as the parent, it is up to you to stay on the path you mapped out years ago. Your rules and your expectations should still be upheld to your satisfaction.

Parenting the 6 to 7 Year Old Child

These young children need a lot of reassurances from their parents. Praise when they are doing things right will give them the confidence they are lacking. Giving the child some responsibilities within the home is also important.

Parents want to raise responsible teenagers who will make the right choices and it all starts with these influential years when we have the most sway in their lives. Teaching children at a young age to be responsible and accountable for their own actions sets them up for success later in life.

Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child's out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?

Parenting the 6 to 7 Year Old Child

To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: Free Audio Recordings

Jason Johnson (MSW) has worked with hundreds of toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, Bi-polar, and SEVERE emotional/behavioral issues.

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Thursday, June 14, 2012

The Four Common Types of Parenting Styles

There are four different types of parenting styles that are commonly identified by an expert by the name of Diana Baumrind in the parenting field. These styles are known as authoritarian parenting, permissive parenting, neglectful parenting, and authoritative parenting. There are important differences between each of these styles, and there is one style that is significantly better than the other three. In order to understand which type is the best parenting style; however, we need to review all of them first.

One of the types of parenting styles is the authoritarian style of parenting. This style is characterized by high expectations of compliance and conformity to parental rules and directions. The problem with authoritarian parenting is that the parental rules and directions often change when the parent feels like changing them, so the child never truly knows what is expected. The situation could be described as unfair and threatening. Many children raised by authoritarian parents live in a constant state of fear. They tend to display less self-confidence and are withdrawn socially. Some children might also rebel by openly defying the parents by leaving home at a younger age, partaking in drugs, alcohol, and sexual behavior at a much younger age, dating or marrying a partner whom they know their parents would disapprove of, and often might be estranged from their parents during adulthood.

Parenting

The second of the four types of parenting styles is permissive parenting. This style is typically characterized by a warm, loving relationship between parent and child, but is flawed by low expectations of behavior. In other words, the permissive parent is usually afraid to make demands on the child much less hold them to any standard. This type of parent simply wants the child to like them at the end of the day and will do anything the child requests to do. Children raised by overly permissive parents tend to suffer from a lack of focus, immaturity and problems with emotional regulation. The children can not control their impulses and do not accept the responsibility for their own actions. When in trouble, the child will simply blame someone else even if it was their own fault. They tend to live and remain close to where they grew up, still dependent, in early adulthood.

The Four Common Types of Parenting Styles

Neglectful parenting is another one of the types of parenting styles. This style is best described as a step beyond permissive parenting. The neglectful parent may provide food and shelter, but is generally emotionally uninvolved in the child's life. A good example of this would be parents who never ask their child questions about their day, their friends, or their education. A neglected child may have serious issues going on outside the home, but the neglectful parent is never aware of them until something potentially tragic occurs. Many times children will grow up feeling resentment against their parents for being neglectful and often might be estranged from them into adulthood.

The last of the types of parenting styles, and definitely the one that is considered ideal, is authoritative parenting. This type of parent holds high expectations of the child's behavior while allowing the child to talk about those expectations. Parental rules and directions imposed on the child are fair and expressed clearly. The authoritative parent teaches the child about cause and effect, decision-making and self-sufficiency. Authoritative parents raise children who are successful, articulate, happy with themselves, and generous with others. This results in them being liked and respected by their peers and allows them to be generally well-rounded adults.

Parents should strive to raise their children with the authoritative style of parenting.

The Four Common Types of Parenting Styles

Jason Kaminski is the web administrator for Healthy Planets [http://www.healthyplanets.com].

Healthy Planets is the source for a wide variety of health information on the internet.

Did you know that you can be a better parent? Learning information about parenting is a very good start! Subscribe to my list about parenting by clicking here [http://www.healthyplanets.com/parenting.php].

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Friday, June 8, 2012

Jelly Painting - Creative Activities For Babies


Finding a suitable, safe and fun crafty activity for babies can be difficult. In an effort to build a sculpture out of dough it will inevitably end up being eaten and at best you may get a finger imprint. Crayons will be chewed up and spat out. Paint will probably end up everywhere but on the paper. Chalk will be broken into tiny bits.

Jelly painting is cheap, easy, non-toxic and fun for both parents and baby. To get started just make jelly as per instructions on the packet and let it set in a plastic bowl. When you are ready to begin, find an area of flooring in your house that can be easily mopped clean, such as tiles or floor boards (do not attempt this on carpet). Lay out a large sheet of paper and sticky tape the corners to the floor. Dress your baby in as little as possible as the jelly tends to get everywhere.

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Put the bowl of jelly next to the paper and scoop out a little onto the paper. Encourage your baby to use the jelly to draw lines and shapes on the paper and to explore the feel of the jelly in the bowl. Let your baby (and yourself) have fun and be creative. It doesn't matter if he/she eats a little bit of the jelly and be prepared to have a bath straight away as it can get very messy. If you want to be even more creative make 2 or 3 different colors of jelly and help your baby mix them together and make pictures with the different colors. Don't forget a camera!!
Jelly Painting - Creative Activities For Babies
For more creative activities to do with babies and toddlers visit
http://www.Baby-Patch.com/jelly.html
Jelly Painting - Creative Activities For Babies
Jen Hart is the author of the informative website http://www.baby-patch.com providing parenting information, baby gift advice and ideas of how to create the perfect baby shower.
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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Trustworthiness-A Characteristic of Great Value

Trustworthiness is sometimes misunderstood as a personal value. The majority of people believe themselves to be trustworthy, yet, their behavior does not match their belief. Generally people believe trustworthiness is keeping your word, taking care of your belongings and returning that which you borrow from others. However, trustworthiness embodies much more.

The definition of trustworthy includes the personal characteristics of:

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o Capable of being depended upon: dependable, reliable, responsible, solid.

Trustworthiness-A Characteristic of Great Value

o Worthy of belief, as because of precision or faithfulness to an original: authentic, authoritative, convincing, credible, faithful, true, valid behavioral pattern.

A trustworthy person:

o Arrives on time

o Does what he/she agreed to do

o Knows his/her limits and avoids promising more than she/he can deliver

o Is consistent--based on past experiences one can trust what she/he will do next

How does one become a trustworthy person? Trustworthiness is a learned characteristic. Children learn trustworthiness by what they experience. Therefore, parents need to keep their word. If they tell a child they will take him/her to the store in 'a little while.' The parent needs to then take the child to the store. Whatever you tell a child you need to do it, even when it is something the child would not want you to do.

For example: If you tell your child you are going to send him/her to bed early if he/she hits his/her brother, you need to send your child to bed early in order to demonstrate to your child you are trustworthy. Furthermore, when you follow through on your statements, you are telling your child, I say what I mean and I mean what I say. This gives your child a sense of security and trust that all will be in right order, even the things they do not wish to have--i.e. going to bed early.

Some parents mistakenly think their children will be happier if they do not actually use the consequences for unacceptable behavior. So they only use the statement of 'going to bed early only as a scare tactic.' After only one instance of not following through on this statement, your child already knows you 'do not mean what you say' and they will push the limit the next time. Children who are threatened with consequences, but never receive it learn that their parents are not trustworthy.

Children, who, are threatened will later accuse the parent of being a 'liar,' and they are right. Parents need to avoid making threats or empty promises.

To say that someone is untrustworthy is not necessarily a negative moral judgment. Although, we know criminals are untrustworthy, not every untrustworthy person is a criminal. Many untrustworthy people are loving and well-meaning. The issue which prompts good, honest people to be untrustworthy is fear. Fear of not being liked. They want to be liked, therefore, they make promises they can not keep or do not intend to keep.

For example: parents are afraid if they are strict with their children, their children will not love them and the children will not grow up happy. The truth is children who grow up with untrustworthy, unpredictable parents are unhappy and they do not respect their parents.
See my article: If You Love Me--Set Me A Limit http://ezinearticles.com/?If-You-Love-Me-Set-Me-a-Limit&id=112548

If you say, "You are grounded for a week," and then three days later, you allow your child to go outside to play, she/he learns that you do not mean what you say. She/he learns to disbelieve you. If this occurs over and over, she/he eventually learns that she/he does not need to listen to anything you say, because you do not mean it. This scenario is setting up a behavior pattern where you will eventually have a very important message you need to give your child and because she/he has learned, you do not mean what you say, she/he will disregard you completely.

Thus, when the issues are as significant as 'drugs and alcohol are bad for you,' 'No sex until you are eighteen, when can take legal and financial responsibility for the outcome,' your credibility is worthless.

Parents who behave as a friend to their children are doing themselves and their children a great disservice. Your children need you to set boundaries and be trustworthy so they can learn to set boundaries and to be trustworthy. If you fail to set boundaries and are untrustworthy your children will repeatedly lie to you. Furthermore, by making promises you can not or do not intend to keep you are in effect lying and you are teaching your child to lie too.

Trustworthiness-A Characteristic of Great Value

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, "If I'd Only Known...Sexual Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

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Saturday, June 2, 2012

Enmeshed Parenting

"Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you."
-- Kahlil Gibran

Symptoms of enmeshed parenting:

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Your children's good or difficult behavior and successful or unsuccessful achievements define your worth. Your children are the center of your life - your purpose in life. Your focus is on taking care of your children rather than taking care yourself. Your happiness or pain is determined by your children. You are invasive - you need to know everything about what your children think and do.

Enmeshed Parenting

If you identify with one or more of these symptoms, you might be enmeshed with your children.

Consequences for your children of you being enmeshed with them:

They may grow up feeling responsible for others' feelings while ignoring responsibility for their own. They might feel selfish if they take care of themselves rather than you, becoming compliant and disconnected from themselves. They may use you as their role model - making others responsible for their feelings rather than being self-responsible. They may feel invaded and controlled by you and withdraw, resist, or act out in anger. As adults, they may have a hard time taking responsibility for themselves. They will likely have problems in their adult relationships, both work and personal - being a taker, a caretaker, withdrawn, angry, and/or resistant.

As a parent, it is vitally important that you have a sense of passion and purpose in your life separate from your children. And it is vitally important that you learn to define your own sense of worth rather than making your children's behavior responsible for this. It is way too big a burden for children to be the center of your life. There is way too much pressure on them to have to act right, perform right, and/or look right for you to feel that you are okay. Defining your worth through your children makes them feel trapped in being what you want them to be rather than being themselves. If you do not have work, hobbies, or other interests that are very important to you, then you might be making your children your purpose in life, and you might be making them responsible for your feelings of self-worth.

Your children need you to be a role model of taking loving care of yourself - of defining your own worth and taking responsibility for your own feelings of pain and joy. They need to see you as a productive member of society - whether it is through you're your work, volunteer work, and/or creative activities and hobbies. They need to feel free to be themselves and follow their own path without feeling that they will hurt or disappoint you. They need to know that they can come to you with their fears, questions, doubts and dilemmas and that you will be there to help them find their way rather than imposing your way on them. They need to feel your love and support for who they are rather than who you think they should be.

You will end up with a far better relationship with your children if you learn how to make yourself happy and define your own worth rather than make your children responsible for you. As adults, they will continue to want to spend time with you if you are your own person, but if they feel obligated to be with you, they might resist.

If you are an enmeshed parent, do yourself and your children a huge favor and start learning to take responsibility for your own happiness and pain.

Enmeshed Parenting

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to discover loving and joyful parenting? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

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